THE STRANGERS (2008)

Title: The Strangers (2008)

Director: Bryan Bertino
Actors: Liv Tyler, Scott Speedman
Length: 85 mins.








The opening sequence to this film tells you that it is based on a true story. It also tells you that all the details to the story are still not known to this day. And basically tells you what to expect for the next hour and a half.
You will see a couple terrorized for an hour. You will not find out why, because there appears to be no reason. You will not find out who the attackers were, because no one knows.
The problem with the movie is not with the two lead actors. Scott Speedman and Liv Tyler may not have shown a lot of dexterity in their young careers, but they know how to fill their characters with real emotion. Liv Tyler knows how to look at a man like she loves him, and she knows how appear frightened.
No, the problem with this film is that the movie is based on a true mystery. Mysteries are appealing because of the unknown truth. This is not Citizen Kane with a small offhand snippet to keep you engaged while the credits role. This is a film without any resolution.
It suffers from the same problem as did the original Hostel. There was no plot. People were randomly tortured for no other reason than it entertained the torturers.
So long as you not expect it to have a memorable conclusion, you can telegraph every big scene to come in this film.
It's not new, it's not shocking or rewarding. It's certainly not recommended.

RADIOHEAD - IN RAINBOWS (2007)

RADIOHEAD

Title: In Rainbows (2007)
Producer(s): Nigel Godrich, Mark Stent
Label: n/a
Genre: Alternative
Length: 42:40





I recall many years ago when Coldplay was decreed as being the next Radiohead. It's a tiresome statement: The World's Biggest Band. I've heard such groups as The Rolling Stones, U2 and Oasis lay claim to the title. Radiohead have always been a quiet band, doing their own thing and enlisting large amounts of new fans over the years.
Now, 15 years since Creep first took over the radio waves, the band is back with their seventh long player. In Rainbows, available as a pay-what-you-want internet-only download album (at first).
While there's no Paranoid Android-type hit on the album, it’s a mesmerizing affair with equal amounts of catchy instrumentation and swirling synth loops reminiscent of Thom Yorke's recent solo effort.
All I Need sounds like a heart-wrenching soul-expulsion of humanity in a futuristic world where everything seems synthesized. Moving from a slightly depressive tone to a beautifully uplifting ending, it is an incredibly dense track for something that on distant listen sounds very minimal.
Bodysnatchers will sound familiar to most fans of the band. While catchy, it threatens to spiral out of control like a doped-up 70s jam band but clearly, Radiohead have always had a firm grasp on what they're doing, even if everyone doesn't.
Reckoner seems like background music until it slowly sneaks up behind you and grabs you by the ears, forcing you to listen to the too beautiful cries of Yorke and the swooning strings that float his words across a room.
At just under 43 minutes, the album feels a tad short but for those willing to hold on and shell out for the discbox release, you can get eight more tracks. I was worried too, about quality, as the band decided to offer the downloaded songs in a zipped 160kbps ratio, which is hardly top-notch quality when it comes to mp3s. However, I'm pleased to report that the songs are clear and crisp. AT 128kbps, I suspect most people would catch some distortion but at 160, most ears will be hard pressed to discern any issues.
The album on a whole is very stripped back. Some people will be off put by the lack of any outstanding single. But singles are an outdated model from the days when radio airplay and MTV determined the success of albums. That's no longer the case.
Only time will tell where In Rainbows stands in the history of Radiohead's discography. There are some fascinating moments and it's an album that won't tire the listener with repeated plays.
Simply put, there isn't any "next Radiohead". These guys are untouchable.

HATCHET (2007)

Title: Hatchet

Director: Adam Green
Actors: Joel Moore, Tamara Feldman, Robert Englund, Kane Hodder
Length: 85 mins.







The caption reads: It's not a remake. It's not a sequel. And it's not based on a Japanese one.
But lets' be clear, this is a throwback to the slasher flicks of the 80s; the ones that had half a storyline to them and then spawned brain-dead sequel after sequel. To be fair, slasher flicks are meant to do one thing, and that's scare the audience. Jason Voorhees, Michael Meyers and Freddy Kreuger all did it well enough when the style was in vogue and who doesn't want to see a slew of university students get hacked up with knives while they're engaging in premarital boffing?
As opposed to other recent attempts to pick up the genre, Hatchet at least looks semi-respectable. Who cares that the swamp looks more like Cleveland than New Orleans? Well, some people will. I'm sure the Universal Studios rides are frightening but you also know they look a little fake. Just how many people have tried swatting Jaws in the nose when he pops up out of the water?
The casting director for the film needs a similar jab. The token black guy is not funny despite all attempts, there's a lad who pulls off a pretty decent, if obviously fake New Orleans drawl and then proceeds to withdraw into a horribly stereotypical, grammar-less asian accent (what gives?), two of the young, cute brunettes look strangely alike, making certain scenes ultra-confusing (not to mention that one of them has a red-neck grass-chewing father and brother but exhibits no similar characteristics herself) and the lead actor, well let's just say that he would have been more appropriate for the sequel to Napoleon Dynamite than the lad who saves the girl. There's nothing in wardrobe or style that can hide this kid's lack of chin, chest or hide the ginormous Adam's apple protruding from his skinny little neck. I'm all for supporting the McLovins in film but this casting pushed me to my limits.
The film is decently made and for fans of the style, it's a good way to spend an hour and a half. But be forewarned, what little there is in plot is not enough to make the killer or the film a classic, or even really memorable.

FLIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (2007)

Title: Flight of the Living Dead: Outbreak on a Plane

Director: Scott Thomas
Cast: Richard Tyson, David Chisum, Erick Avari
Length: 71 mins.






The last 10 years have seen the return of the horror film in ways not seen since the mania of the 80s slasher flicks. For horror fans, this is great but it can also result in some sad consequences. For every 28 Days Later (2002) and Ichi the Killer (2001), there is something out there like Zombiez (2005) or Dead and Breakfast (2004). It was the same back in the 90s when disaster movies were all the rage and you'd get Volcano (1997) and Dante's Peak (1997) or Deep Impact (1998) and Armegeddon (1998) all at the same time. Once something's hot, you can bet your pretty pennies that Hollywood will shove it at us until we refuse to swallow it any more.
So, it's a good time to be a horror fan, but watch out for the crap. When I first saw the ad for this one, I thought it was going to be garbage. Pale imitation of Snakes on a Plane with zombies in lieu of snakes. And it is. But it's not crap.
I won't bother getting into the argument of what constitutes a true zombie here. I have my opinions on it and suffice it to say, Romero is King. I can deal with fast, plague-driven zombies so long as they're accompanied by a good script. Flight of the Living Dead has that, with a good cast made up of unknown faces and a few that you'll recognize but won't be certain where you remember them from. Remember the bad guy in Kindergarten Cop? Yeah, he's here. So is the dead(?) professor from Heroes.
I know what you're thinking. How can they make a flick over an hour long with rampaging zombies on a plane? Let's just say that they did and it works. Flight of the Living Dead is a very good addition to any zombie fan's collection. Some will have a beef with the logistics of shooting off automatic weapons in a pressurized cabin dozen of miles up in the sky but you know what, it's a movie about reanimated corpses. Pick your battles, huh?

ZODIAC (2007)

Title: Zodiac

Director: David Fincher
Cast: Jake Gyllenhaal, Mark Ruffalo, Robert Downey Jr.
Length: 158 mins.







It took me three damn days to get through this movie.
Yeah, great acting. Mark Ruffalo plays a bumbling moron who mumbles through his dialogue, Gyllenhall plays a weird outsider who likes to spend his spare time in libraries and Robert Downey Jr portrays a drug addict. I have never seen any of those actors in similar roles before.
Finally got to the end, only to find that there really wasn't an end and then realized, oh yeah, I've seen about four different incarnations of this film before but none gave Lord of the Rings a run for the longest bloody snorefest ever like this one.
The Zodiac Killer is probably still getting a chuckle out of it.

SUNSHINE (2007)

Title: Sunshine

Director: Danny Boyle
Cast: Cillian Murphy, Chris Evans, Rose Byrne
Length: 107 mins.







Sunshine focuses on a crew of astronauts sent to reignite the dying sun with a bomb the size of Manhattan strapped to their ship. From the very beginning, it seems a one-way trip for the pilots and when trouble hits, it becomes uncertain as to whether they will even make it there at all.
Brit director Danny Boyle has made himself a habit of not repeating the same style of movies over and over again. While his early films like Shallow Grave (1994) and Trainspotting (1996) had macabre sensibilities and 28 Days Later (2002) proved that he really knew how to expertly chill audiences, he's also gone out on a limb with The Beach (2000) with Leo DiCaprio and Millions (2004), the brilliant little film about two young lads who discover a bag full of money that fell off a passing train.
Sunshine employs the cold futuristic feel of 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) and the paranoid, claustrophobic entrapments of Event Horizon (1997). A superb multicultural cast do their roles well but apart from an ongoing feud between Murphy and Evans, there is little sense of any ongoing interrelationships amongst the crew. Most spend their screen time dealing with their own issues, chopped down to small little snippets, which proves a disservice to the characters and actors.
There is nothing here not already seen in the above-mentioned films. If you enjoyed those movies and would like to see more of the same, see Sunshine. If you'd rather see something more on the original side, go rent Boyle's Millions.

PREMONITION (2007)

Title: Premonition

Director: Mennan Yapo
Cast: Sandra Bullock, Julian McMahon
Length: 110 mins.








You'll be forgiven if about halfway through this movie you start to feel like you're watching something that has borrowed heavily from Memento (2000). Sandra Bullock's Linda is a stay-at-home mother of two young girls with a distant workaholic husband. Unlike in Memento, it's never really explained why Linda is living her life out of order. Suffice to say, it's a cinematic trick that feels poorly employed and certainly better used elsewhere. Bullock brings her usual adequate skills and even in a film where she spends most of her screen time crying or looking worried, she's still as charming as we expect her to be.
Julian McMahon of the Nip/Tuck and Fantastic Four franchises is quite the opposite. He's both cold and wooden and even when the film's conflict seems to be resolved, we don't really care enough to give a hoot what happens to him. Too little, too late.
The always wonderful Peter Stormare shows up as a psychologist and is vastly underused but still a credit to the film's casting department.
Premonition is a decent Sunday night rental, but no more and no less.

THE GATHERING (2002)

THE GATHERING

Director: Brian Gilbert
Cast: Christina Ricci, Ioan Gruffudd
Length: 92 mins.








Finally released to much of the world in 2006, The Gathering has received an unfortunate smattering of publicity that has left it relegated to the unpicked-child-in-gym-class status.
Admittedly, there are problems with this film, mostly focused around character motivations and editing. As is the case with most films, we may never know what took place behind the scenes, but it seems this one was hastily put together, for what reason I won't speculate, and what could have been a fantastic film has been downgraded to a good film, most likely because not enough time or resources were devoted to its creation and honing (Okay, I'm speculating).
For a quasi-religious thriller, there are surprisingly few special effects, but what is here serves its purpose well. Rosemary's Baby after all, did more with less. Good films too, can be made with relatively no discernable plot and strong characters. It is much more difficult however, to make a good film with weak characters and a strong plot. This is where The Gathering succeeds against the odds.
As I already mentioned, some of the character motivations are difficult to follow in this film. Ricci's character Cassie, is involved in a car accident in which she is relatively unhurt but jolted enough to lose much of her memory. She is taken in by a kind family and takes what seems like an immediate protective role in their troubled son's life. Menacing people in town are stalking her, she has violent visions and feels oddly determined to do her own dangerous investigation. There may or may not be a would-be murderer in town out to get the boy. And how does the mysterious church buried for thousands of years come into play? Why is the recreation of the Crucifixion of Christ facing with its back towards the congregation?
The Gathering perhaps tries to be too many things at once. Serial killers with haunting backgrounds, religious prosecution and cover-up, life after death, fate versus free will, it all kind of gets convoluted into a big soup and perhaps doesn't play out as strong as it should but at its essence, the very core story behind this film is one that is strong, stronger perhaps than the idea behind The Da Vinci Code, but without the fanfare of a true religious debate we're left with a film that is entirely fictional, less sensational for it but no less interesting.
The actors all do well with what they have to work with, which is little characterization. It is difficult to connect with these people and that hurts the overall feel of the film.
But its still a good rental with an original idea, and better than much of the regurgitated remakes and updates and sequels we're seeing these days.

True Colors Tour 2007

TRUE COLORS TOUR 2007

Host: Margaret Cho
Featuring: Cyndi Lauper; The Dresden Dolls; Deborah Harry; Erasure
Length: Approximately 5 hours
Place: Molson Amphitheatre, Toronto, ON
Date: Tuesday, June 19th, 2007










When I heard that Cyndi Lauper was bringing her True Colors Concert to Toronto as part of our city's Pride festivities, I was thoroughly excited. Then I saw ticket prices and my excitement balloon deflated. However, with the wave of somebody's magic wand, three days before the concert date, two fantastically placed seats fell into my lap at half price. I was excited!

I urge the reader to take most of what I write with a grain of salt because I was thoroughly stoned for most of the concert; however, I definitely made mental notes (while high) on what I liked and what I loved.

The show started at six, but my companion and I arrived at about a quarter to the next hour, in time to catch the Dresden Dolls walk on stage.

Oh.My.God!

A duo that describes their sound as 'Brechtian punk cabaret', they embody every part of that description and then some! Incorporating wild theater antics with pseudo-screamo stylings, kickass musicianship, and unimaginably original vocals, the Dresden Dolls took my high higher! Coin Operated Boy would have had to have been my favourite of their performances - a piece that dealt with issues of love - how easy it would be to love a mechanical boy. I was think 'masturbation' but then again that could have had to do with my state of mind and the fact that I was mentally undressing everybody at the concert!

The legendary Debbie Harry followed.
Le sigh.
She performed no Blondie numbers and whoever the writers of her new material are, they need to be fired. She felt like a bad combination of Avril Lavigne and Dolly Parton. Yikes! Her dancing was an attempt to look cool and young and hip. Rather it came off as tired and slightly bitten by arthritis. The woman's got the pipes - she just needs the music to pull it off. Instead of working off her Blondie image, I felt it'd be better for her to move in a more mature direction - one that suits her current state of mind! It was still quite the thing to be sitting not fifteen feet from a legend - one I grew up dancing in my underwear to!

I believe at this point there was an intermission. I had the munchies. Mmmm hot dog! Phallic symbolism totally noted!

We came back to Erasure.
Did you know that the keyboardist for the group is a founding member of Depeche Mode? After all these years of listening to both groups, how did I miss that little piece of trivia???
Anyway, it wasn't just the vocalist's sequined suit that made me giddy! The performance was out of this world. It was dance and trip-hop and old school R&B(!) and show tunes all thrown together...All with a deadpan keyboardist, a fancy dancing vocalists and three beautiful backup singers a la Tina Turner! The only downside was the older woman beside us who, while reliving her clubbing days, whipped her arms into our faces! Ouch.

And then she came.
A bright pink wig and a GIANT sombrero.
The irreplaceable, timeless, wonderful, minute, gigantic, always powerful Cyndi Lauper!
This minuscule woman commanded the stage like there was no tomorrow! One tune in, she screamed at us, "You cats are wiggin' me out" and ripped off her bright fuchsia wig to throw into the audience! She did a number of new tracks, while crowd surfing, letting us smelly folk touch her beautiful shorn head, and multi tasking with a sound system full of glitches! Some classic Lauper elicited cheers of joy as we sang along to "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" and slowed down for "Time After Time".

The concert came to a smashing close with the entire line-up joining Ms. Lauper in a rendition of her "True Colors".

Minus the freezing cold, the evening was an unparalleled success - combining music and politics and Pride and human rights and excitement and entertainment at its best.